Today...

Today has been a good day and a sad day all in one. This morning Tammie, Bob, Greg and I (along with a number of other proud parents, grandparents, and siblings) went to the awards ceremony at Carelton School.  The gym was done up in red, white and blue.  It was really nice.  Upon walking into the gym, there where bleachers, and a chair with a photo of a little boy (12 yrs. ols) and a fern next to the photo.  This stoped me in my tracks because this is the same little boy who was at Childrens Hospital for an infection.  Before starting the cermonie, Kay Davis, had the unfortinate job of informing us that this child died last week.  He was medically fragle, non verbal, and used a wheelchair for motivating around the school.  Dispite all this, or maybe because of all this, he was a happy child who, although, nonverbal, could melt your heart with a smile.  You had no choice but to smile back, no matter how bad your day was going.  I only had the pleasure of meeting this young man twice, but...  

Today brought it home for me.  Our children are medically different. No matter how much I want Mike to be like all the other children, Mike is different.  This is not an easy thing to think, much less put into words on a public forum.  Will he ever go to a "normal" public school?  I have no idea.  He has to pure a spirit, I fear for his emotional well being.  I fear for the day he realizes that someone has rejected him, because of his differences.  I know it will happen, and I will be the one to comfort him.  I'm his mom, how could I not?

This combined with the struggles I've been having lately about weither we did the right thing, by doing everything medically nessacarey to keep him alive.  Lets just say that it makes for  an internal battle that I don't have the ability to win, although, I will continue to fight.