Life is NOT getting easier.
Dealing with a special needs child is NOT getting easier.
I feel lied to.
I want a "get out of this shit free" pass.
At this moment, I want to walk away.
Something HAS to change and change soon.
I'm unsure how much more I can take.
I love my family, but HATE my situation.
Recently Bob asked me if I would feel this way if we had two "normal" children?
My answer then as well as now is "Yes."
I love my kids, because that's what a "good mother" does, but I find them to be an ancore that I can't get rid of.
To walk away and take them with me is NOT an option.
Bob is better able to take care of their needs.
To walk away with out them, is unfair to Bob.
I don't want to screw him over like that, but to say I haven't thought long and hard about it would be a lie.
Like I said, something has to change and change soon, or that will be my only option.
This is NOT where I wanted to be in then years when I was 20.
This is NOT what I signd up for, and this is NOT what I want to deal with for the next however many years.
Ironically, NO ONE ELSE CARES!!!
3 comments:
No one cares? Really?
So is it the time you spend? Is it that it is constant? Help me to understand a bit.
It's hard to believe you could actually feel that way, much less post it. I guess we all need an outlet, but to repeat what Paul said, "No one cares? Really?" Not being judgemental here. Every parent gets stressed. But this seems like more.
When I see Thea I see:
One of the most interesting and talented people I know. She is a creative soul with a great eye for seeing the beauty around her and creating from that inspiration.
A young woman with determination
and grit and enough gumption( yes I used the word gumption) to fight for what she believes in. She believes in fighting for the underdog and doing the right thing even when it may not be the best thing for herself. This is called valor, a most honorable and admirable quality
Thea is an individual struggling in a difficult world to define herself. You will find in life that your individuality changes not by the day or week but by the hour and the experiences that come with living. Every life is a work in progress.
Thea is a GOOD person and that is what God wants us to aspire to, he does not expect perfection. God just needs to know we are all out there slugging away at being GOOD people.
Bob is the husband of and Michael and Gregory are the sons of Thea.
We all love you Thea and we do all care and we can talk any time.
Janni
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