Am I enough?

Am I enough?

Enough of a parent to raise well behaved children? (Depends on the day.)

Enough of a child to raise happy children? (I believe so.)

Enough of a mother to raise more than my own children? (I'm not sure.) 

Enough of a wife to make my husband happy? (Yes!)

Enough of myself to not loose myself in the title of mother or wife? (Agian, unsure.)

Enough of a "christian" to make the world wonder what I have and desire it? (Probably not!)

Enough of a joyful person to make those around me happy?  (?)

Serious enough to hold deep conversations with?  (Depends on the person.)

It recently occured to me that I have 5 really good friends.  Friends I call on when my life is falling apart.  People I really try to stay in contact with.  Am I enough of a person to have that many close friends?  The average woman has only two or three that she can call close friends.  More aquantiances of course, but not "friends" as I mean it here.  So I come back to the question, Am I enough?  I guess only time will tell.

WOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOO

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Date night tonight.  Dinner and a movie without toys, or kids.  What more can I say?  Woho seems to cover it.

10,20,or life?

Marriage:  Hah! What a joke.  The "religous" would like to believe that they have this thing cornered.  Unfortianatly, the divorce rate amoung "christians" is as high or higher than that of the world around us.  WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  If we are to be the salt of the world, we are truely lacking.

Bob and I said early on that divorce would never come into our vocabulary and 10 years later we are still plucking away at it.  Looking around me I have seen so many marriages fail, most between 10 and 20 years that subconsiously, I am a bit fearful of the next ten years.  Although my inlaws split up after 27 years, so that is a concern. 

Oh well, Bob and I agree there is nothing that we can't work through.  Why don't more people try to work things out?  In the long run it is the kids who end up getting screwed.  If adults want to mess up their lives be my guest but once you have kids, I feel, that your prioritys should shift to what's best for them, and then you.  (A taboo, among Americans, but it's my blog, so I'll write how I feel.)   

Now understand that if you or your children are in danger by all means leave.  I don't support being in any type of abusive relationship, but if you can't agree over the color to paint the walls, that's just stupid.  I look around and see to many times that people are getting divorced over silly or sometimes down right stupid things, and I have to wonder why even get married in the first place?  

Our life for the past month...

Well another school year has begun for Bob and Mike. So what has been going on in my world for the past month? Well, like I said the "boys" are back in school. I've been reserching schools, WMU and WVU are both really good, crazy as it sounds WVU is actually a harder school to get into than WMU. I'm really torn because I'm scared to move but know it could be a great, but I'm comfortable here. (Comfort can be a scary thing.)

What else, well Bob and I went to a fostercare information meeting. It was interesting, and sad. So many kids get so screwed by their parents and then the system, then their folks again. What a shame. I wonder if, well, if Bob and I could make a difference in anyone's life? Is is possable, for two people to make a difference in the world?

We went to the "membership" class at Central. The major thing that I remember is they wanted to know what moves me. It was interesting, what moves me? Kids move me, the social breakdown of the family moves me. The lack of careing from so many moves me. I look around me and see so much suffering, so many people, not just kids, end up hurt.

On a more positive note: Mike turned 4 yesterday. Wow, 4 years ago he was a green little boy in a NICU. Today he is a happy little boy who is on the go all the time. In a twin bed, and just amazing. He is growing up so fast, and I know that he is growing up "slower" than other children, but to me it just seems crazy fast. Actually on the 5th of Sept. 2004, he was fairly healthy, but during the month he just started to go down hill. But theres no need to dwell on that, he's a crazy busy little boy now days.

Well that's whats been going on in our neck of the woods. Goodnight one and all.