All for the glory of God...

Fire pink, Indigo Bunnting, and snowy pink. Just a few of Gods more wonderful things. Others on the list could include Stella Roses smile, Mikes couriousity, Gregs laugh, Mayas questions, Lydias shyness, and the recent enjoyment of nature I've discovered. (I also discovered that mud is difficult to get out of tennis shoes, but that's a different story.) Take a moment, and really look around you, what wonderful things has God put in your life that you have taken for granted? For me it's all about the small stuff right now. The moments with my family, the joy in serving, the clover I drive by every time I go up my drive. A lizard made me laugh today. Take the time to laugh. Take time to talk, but listen too.

On a different and much sadder note...

A friends husband died, very suddenly, today, and they don't even know weither he was saved or not. How do you cope with that? What can be said to encourage the family? What words should be avoided at all costs? I don't know, but want to send my condolances. I wasn't very close to him, but she and I tought Sunday school together.

I have noticed...

I have noticed that I talk a lot on my blog about my self insurcuritys and my kids. That is because those are the things that weigh the most on my mind. My relationships with my friends, family and God are all in good shape. My blog is a reflextion of me.

Mike....

This has been a crazy week. The days went by so fast. The week has flown by. Yesterday, Mike, Greg, Nessa, Brette and myself went to the waterpark in Marietta. It is a must for those of us who LOVE waterparks. The zero grade is awsome. Mike was able to take his walker down the zero grade and ended up out so deep he had to look up to keep his face above the water. His walker was totally under water. He went it walker, socks, braces, shoes the whole nine yards. (I got permission from all the DME people and the life gaurds at the aquatic center.) What a blast, a place where he is able to be himself, play with kids his age, and show what he can do. I am so proud of him. He truely is an amazing kid.

On a different note, Greg is a chicken. We finally got him in the water, and he warmed up to it eventually, but I don't know how he can be my son and such a chicken at the same time. Oh-well, I love him anyway. He'll grow out of it so I should enjoy his clinginess while I have it.

I can't wait to take Mike back. It is a blast.

I am that person...

So ok yesterday was a poor poor pitiful me day. Today is a better day.

I am that woman. I am brave, strong, and loud at times. I am that woman, the one who fights with passion, it's just that my passions have changed. I no longer fight for this or that. I pick my battles, probably letting some slide that I should jump into, but I will fight to the end for my faith, family, and those I hold dear to my heart. I am that woman, I can laugh with the best of them, cry without shame, and love like theres no tomorrow.

I AM MY HUSBANDS BEST FRIEND!!!!!!!
I AM A GOOD ROLE MODEL FOR MY CHILDREN!!!!

I am that woman, my spelling sucks, I have laugh lines around my mouth, and know how to look good when I want but know how to relax and have fun too.

That being said there are some things I would still like to do with my life.

I want more children, and to use my resorces to help others. I want to go back to school for OT. I would like to have my Masters by the time I'm 40. (10 years should be enough time.) I want to make strong friendships with those around me, be used of God (perferably in a place w/o spiders) and grow in my faith. So that's my self reflextion for today.

Thankyou Paul for what you said this morning to me in the nursery. I needed to hear that.

Am I happy?

So Bob and I celebrated our 10 year anniversary last week.
This morning he asked me Am I happy?

With my children?-Yes
With my husband?-Yes
With my house?-No
With my life?-Not really, but I don't know why?
With my self?- Depends on the day

What do I want?-

I want more kids.
I want to do something with my life that will impact my community, and its future.
I want my home to be a place of safty and refuge to those who need it.
I want to be someone people can call on when they have problems and need help.
I want to be smarter, funnier, sexier, more serious (with out loosing my ability to play).
I want to be my husbands best friend, my kids mentor, someone they can look up too.
I want to be... what? What do I want to be?

When I was a child, I had a grand plan to be a fighter piolet, untill I had to get glasses. I was fearless, the first up a tree, and the highest climber. There was no jump I wouldn't try on my bike, and I would fight with a passion for what I believed in, and for my friends. What happened to that girl? She was beautiful. Did she "grow up" or shrink away? (Do I want to leave her alone or try to bring her back, she had a temper, and was loud and rude sometimes, but smiled more and didn't carry the weight of the world on her shoulders.)

I want to be brave, strong, courageous, tough, and look damn good doing it.

As a general rule, I am happy with my life. I sometimes wonder what if...

What if I never moved to Pentwater? I would have never meet Bob.
What if I never married Bob? I have no idea.
What if I never got pregnent? No kids doesn't sound so bad some days, others they are a laugh a minute.
What if we had chosen to let Mike die instead of doing all we could to keep him alive? I would have missed out on a blessing like no other. A challange yes, but a blessing just the same.

Those are my big what-ifs.

So am I happy? I have no idea lets table it for now and come back to it in a few weeks.