I gave up

I did it yeasterday.
I gave up.
I gave up on being upset with myself for not carrying Mike to full term.
I nailed it to the cross.
Dead center,
two forceful thumps,
and now its there with God.
I no longer have the right be mad at myself.
Jesus took that to the cross with him.
I no longer have to listen to Satan telling me it was my fault.
If I only....
If I only what?
Sorry Satan, never again, gave it to GOD, that's the end.
Mike is my son,
I gave birth to him,
but GOD new him in my womb.
He is my child,
I am responsable for him while he is here with me,
but before he was mine,
he was Gods.
After he looses Bob and I,
he will still have God.
In the end that's all that matteres.

Where to go from here?
Biology I think is out. Advacacy is in. I'm being lead in a differnt direction and that's ok. I'll go there, not only for my son but for others like him. I'm willing to change my future to make his (and hopefully others) better. I'm willing to listen, talk and scream when needed. I'm willing to come off strong willed and relentless, to further his education in and out of the classroom. Yes I AM THAT MOM... The mom you don't want to talk down too. The mom you want to work with Because I will not back down on services for him and otheres. The mom that relizes that it is a partnership, between the system and myself, and I'll be flexable, BUT I will not be a push over.

I AM THAT MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!